Go Back And Change!

photo via nadja_robot

This outfit isn’t flattering on anyone, except maybe a chilly eggplant. Next.

photo via newbirth

As the photographer astutely pointed out, you would be able to see cooch if it weren’t for the blessing of this woman’s large thighs. Which isn’t an excuse! Bring back bloomers.

photo via metalchris

This isn’t a Halloween costume. It isn’t even a clubbing costume. It’s a bartender. At work. Serving drinks. With black tape on her nipples and a horrible black chasm of a belly tattoo which is sucking me into oblivion. Also, bad lip-liner. 

photo via robwallace

The only way to make this girl’s ass look completely terrible? She found it. Why? Why? I just can’t understand.

photo via davidclow

I do not like:

• the playboy bunny “reverse tan”
• ladies who bring their lunch to work in Victoria’s Secret shopping bags
• the greatest example of ass writing ever.

Happy Monday.

photo via fudgeit

Continuing yesterday’s rear-ended tragedy is this beautiful shot from Leeds. Lady, I know you’re just going to take a train, and sometimes I dress down for such occasions as well, but can’t we uphold at least some trace of basic decorum?

I’m actually not sure what exactly she’s wearing. At first I thought her shirt might be intentionally tangled with her bra, which I myself do sometimes (though in the front) when dancing to Whitney Houston in front of the mirror. Upon closer inspection, though, it appears that there is some sort of DIY thing going on… So I’m making this post as a reminder that, yknow, there are people out there who make clothes professionally. You don’t have to cut up your own shirts. Isn’t that a relief?

photo via headovmetal

There’s a lot going on here, for so little fabric. At least she’s wearing a seatbelt.

photo via markscott

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

photo via notiviajes

I was skeptical when I first heard about “Japanese bikini jeans.” It seemed kind of like the one time everyone was totally convinced that Japanese women wore their underwear over their pants until some guy, probably tired of googling “Japanese panties” and getting lies and fraud instead of nubile schoolgirls, proved the images to be photoshopped. It’s like you can take the weirdest shit possible, put the word “Japanese” in front of it, and people are convinced that you are legit.

Entrepreneurs should feel free to pitch their “Japanese” product idea in the comments.

photo via malingering

These are

1.  tangled bedsheets
2. extremely high-waisted sweat-shorts worn low on the hips
3. “harem pants,” which the latest issue of Cosmopolitan assures me can be fashionably worn by every woman.