photo via baylorbear78
It’s hard to find something that makes me ignore the matching dresses and crocs in the background. Is this their older sister, or parent? Did they help decorate it? Why aren’t there any peace signs? Do you know that those jeans aren’t flattering? Yikes.
photo via nullalux
Apparently these devices are “skirt bracers,” intended to give “your skirt your skirt that adorable kirtle skirt look.” They appear to be made out of the wire your 5th grade teacher makes you plug into potatoes in order to power a lightbulb, and are paired with a weirdly plain office skirt and a cheap sex-shop bustier. Cool. Sign me up.
photo via grapefruitmoon
I am not a hippie hater. Some hippies live next door to me, and they have a black cat that always hangs out on my doorstep right before I get an overdraft — that’s some helpful shit, so don’t think I’m trying to badmouth the whole fashion aesthetic. It’s just these arm warmers. They look like toxic waste. Creepy, sparkly toxic waste. This is the kind of toxic waste that turns you into a Ninja Turtle if you’re not careful. And not a cool one like Donatello — this is the kind of toxic waste that turns you into a Ninja Turtle with a puce bandana and a broken bottle of 2 buck Chuck for a weapon. Ugh.
photo via fudgeit
Continuing yesterday’s rear-ended tragedy is this beautiful shot from Leeds. Lady, I know you’re just going to take a train, and sometimes I dress down for such occasions as well, but can’t we uphold at least some trace of basic decorum?
I’m actually not sure what exactly she’s wearing. At first I thought her shirt might be intentionally tangled with her bra, which I myself do sometimes (though in the front) when dancing to Whitney Houston in front of the mirror. Upon closer inspection, though, it appears that there is some sort of DIY thing going on… So I’m making this post as a reminder that, yknow, there are people out there who make clothes professionally. You don’t have to cut up your own shirts. Isn’t that a relief?
photo via smittenkittenoriginals
Uh. The title of the picture has “Maddox” in it, which reminds me of Maddox‘ post about how cowl necks make your head look like it’s coming out of a giant vajayjay, but it’s also tagged with “metro” and “posh,” so the irony may be lost on the knitter. Crocheter? Whatevs. Knowing how to put yarn on a needle doesn’t make you a fashion designer. Let it go.
photo via TM
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photo via Beardhead
I didn’t like moustaches and beards back when they were made out of facial hair and attached to your face, and I sure don’t like them as scarves, handkerchiefs, key holders or knit hats. Let it go, Hercule Poirot. The only thing I want a ride on is a train out of Portland.
