Go Back And Change!

photo via Mud Gecko

This outfit is appropriate in two scenarios:

• American Apparel mannequin
• Sex & the City extra

I have a feeling neither of these are the case.

photo via anniemole

Truth be told, I started the day with a vendetta against snakeskin. I was standing innocently at my busstop when I spied a woman next to me, dressed entirely in business casual but for her skirt, which was a calf-length masterpiece of roses over snakeskin-printed silk. Seriously. No lie. I’m not entirely sure if that is a sin worse than wearing tights with shorts, or shorts with heels (only acceptable if you are Beyonce), but it’s pretty damn close.

photo via briantology

Well, well, well. Hope everybody enjoyed their Memorial Day weekend, partying it up in the yard with your barbeques, thong sandals, and khaki pants. Let’s leave the floral print on your mother-in-law’s curtains, though — that’s where it belongs, and not on your oversized “casual” shirt.

photo via lobstar

Well. The floral print blouse certainly is interesting — it’s a shame that it’s nearly obscured by a vest made from the cobwebs of spiders on steroids. What really intrigues me, though, are the mismatched earrings… One of which appears to be a bunch of fake grapes. Yum?

photo via nadja_robot

This outfit isn’t flattering on anyone, except maybe a chilly eggplant. Next.

photo via chasingfun

I wasn’t going to mention the clashing & rather (in comparison) Lilliputian-looking purse, or the possibly snake-skin high heels, or the tiara, or the Bluetooth headset which looks kind of like a demonic, brain-sucking hot pink chile pepper. I was going to write about the weird cut of the top, but it hit me: it’s a jumpsuit. It’s a one-piece jumpsuit with the sides cut out. Oh. My. God.

photo via rubbertoe

• No pants (see above)
• Bad pants

PS - this photo was not taken at a beach. There is no excuse I can think of for the lack of pants, or for the friend with a towel for pants.

photo via jessicamills

My hate of transparent rain ponchos has actually increased dramatically after I saw someone wearing one fashionably. I mean, if you really need to wear a clear plastic bag over you, and there are stores that are willing to sell you clear plastic bags that will make you look foxy, why would you buy something that gives you the vibe of an overpriced, day-old turkey club sandwich? Why?

photo via loriwright

I know this is on a mannequin, insulting whom isn’t really my usual gig, but I couldn’t let this photo go on living a peaceful life on Flickr… I just couldn’t. I mean, look at it. It’s awkward enough on a hanger — like a dandy mated with a dot matrix printer — imagine how it will look when you stick some breasts, hips, and an optional fat roll or two under it. My God, the humanity…

photo via foxtongue

Is the scary yarn clown hair attached to the hat? And if so, does that make it less scary or more scary?