Go Back And Change!

photo via vard

Someone call Aubrey Beardsley. He wants his pants back. And his red marker.

photo via metalchris

This isn’t a Halloween costume. It isn’t even a clubbing costume. It’s a bartender. At work. Serving drinks. With black tape on her nipples and a horrible black chasm of a belly tattoo which is sucking me into oblivion. Also, bad lip-liner. 

photo via seemesnap

I know you’re just going on a quick errand to… um… wherever that is, but seriously? If there’s anything I don’t like, it’s the gap of skin between the top of the sock and the bottom of the trouser. It’s so crude. And this is that gap, but higher! Whiter! Amplified! Help!

photo via robwallace

The only way to make this girl’s ass look completely terrible? She found it. Why? Why? I just can’t understand.

photo via nullalux

Apparently these devices are “skirt bracers,” intended to give “your skirt your skirt that adorable kirtle skirt look.” They appear to be made out of the wire your 5th grade teacher makes you plug into potatoes in order to power a lightbulb, and are paired with a weirdly plain office skirt and a cheap sex-shop bustier. Cool. Sign me up.

photo via grapefruitmoon

I am not a hippie hater. Some hippies live next door to me, and they have a black cat that always hangs out on my doorstep right before I get an overdraft — that’s some helpful shit, so don’t think I’m trying to badmouth the whole fashion aesthetic. It’s just these arm warmers. They look like toxic waste. Creepy, sparkly toxic waste. This is the kind of toxic waste that turns you into a Ninja Turtle if you’re not careful. And not a cool one like Donatello — this is the kind of toxic waste that turns you into a Ninja Turtle with a puce bandana and a broken bottle of 2 buck Chuck for a weapon. Ugh.

photo via davidclow

I do not like:

• the playboy bunny “reverse tan”
• ladies who bring their lunch to work in Victoria’s Secret shopping bags
• the greatest example of ass writing ever.

Happy Monday.

photo via headovmetal

There’s a lot going on here, for so little fabric. At least she’s wearing a seatbelt.

photo via malingering

These are

1.  tangled bedsheets
2. extremely high-waisted sweat-shorts worn low on the hips
3. “harem pants,” which the latest issue of Cosmopolitan assures me can be fashionably worn by every woman.

photo via heyjupiter

I’m so sick of this “ironic croc” thing. It’s one thing to have as much taste as a vegan with a head-cold, but why would you buy shoes, wear them while out with your fashion-inept besties, & tag a photo of the evidence with the words “ugly shoes”?