This:
photo via jellyegg
… is the bastard love-child of these:
photo via shoesoftheday
… and these:
photo via shoella
Faaaaaaabulous, the Croc people have given us a shearling lined boot with huge stink potential that looks like the shoe version of a Subaru Brat (ugliest. car. ever. and a prime example of why some things should not be mated). Whatever will they think of next?
photo via heels.com
Here’s a handy fashion equation detailing exactly what is wrong with this footwear:
Learn it, love it, live it.
I know that sometimes designers just want to f*ck with our heads. These shoes would be Exhibit A. It’s a sandal, right? And presumably you wear sandals in the summer, right? OK. So if it’s summer and it’s hot and you have sandals on, why would you want your ankles covered? With leather or suede or whatever that is? Wouldn’t the bottoms of your feet get awfully sweaty, causing you to slide around as you walk? You could hurt yourself in these.
These shoes are schizophrenic and pose far too many questions for something so ugly. If I look at them too long, I feel like I need a nap. Or a cocktail. Or both. Pretty shoes would never do that to a girl.
