Go Back And Change!

photo via foxtongue

Is the scary yarn clown hair attached to the hat? And if so, does that make it less scary or more scary?

photo via aschultz

Put the shawl away, trim the ends off that Elmer Fudd moustache, and get a new couch. Even Alanis Morisette wouldn’t sit on that — it’s a little too ironic, doncha think? You know the old adage… “Girls don’t make passes at douchebags in glasses.”

photo via gohsuket

In fact, nothing goes with khaki shorts. If you’re not working in a deli and making me a tuna on wheat with yellow peppers, put those things back in your closet and put on shorts made out of a real fabric. Actually, maybe you should put on some pants so that you don’t need to wear longjohns under them. That’s right, I’m saying it — the only difference between leggings and frickin’ longjohns is that the sensible people who wear longjohns have the sense to not match them with Uggs*. Also, is that the unabomber on your shirt?

*Which these are not, by some miracle.

photo via hangdog

Yeah. If putting tights on your arms doesn’t make you feel like enough of a jackass, why not cover the tights with prints of celtic knotwork or ugly flash art? Thanks, 2009.

photo via fudgeit

Continuing yesterday’s rear-ended tragedy is this beautiful shot from Leeds. Lady, I know you’re just going to take a train, and sometimes I dress down for such occasions as well, but can’t we uphold at least some trace of basic decorum?

I’m actually not sure what exactly she’s wearing. At first I thought her shirt might be intentionally tangled with her bra, which I myself do sometimes (though in the front) when dancing to Whitney Houston in front of the mirror. Upon closer inspection, though, it appears that there is some sort of DIY thing going on… So I’m making this post as a reminder that, yknow, there are people out there who make clothes professionally. You don’t have to cut up your own shirts. Isn’t that a relief?

photo via headovmetal

There’s a lot going on here, for so little fabric. At least she’s wearing a seatbelt.

photo via heyjupiter

I’m so sick of this “ironic croc” thing. It’s one thing to have as much taste as a vegan with a head-cold, but why would you buy shoes, wear them while out with your fashion-inept besties, & tag a photo of the evidence with the words “ugly shoes”?

photo via insaneninja

Really? You’re going to put your child in an Insane Clown Posse shirt? I mean, really? I’m repulsed, but at the same time … isn’t telling a juggalo to go back and change even more of a low blow than criticizing someone’s Halloween outfit?

photo via kchrist

Alright, gentlemen. Put that meth down and listen to me. If you’re going to do this, at least keep your audience in mind. Ok? Those grey boxers — selfish. Boring. “Safe.” How about something like this instead?

photo via malingering

Is it wrong that her wedge platforms bother me more than anything else?