Go Back And Change!

photo via anniemole

Truth be told, I started the day with a vendetta against snakeskin. I was standing innocently at my busstop when I spied a woman next to me, dressed entirely in business casual but for her skirt, which was a calf-length masterpiece of roses over snakeskin-printed silk. Seriously. No lie. I’m not entirely sure if that is a sin worse than wearing tights with shorts, or shorts with heels (only acceptable if you are Beyonce), but it’s pretty damn close.

photo via miriella

Not a fan of shoes that look like they’ve been constructed from leftover Christmas ribbon and cheap doorstops. Recycling is great, but would you wear plastic bags just to save the world? Oh wait…

photo via seemesnap

I know you’re just going on a quick errand to… um… wherever that is, but seriously? If there’s anything I don’t like, it’s the gap of skin between the top of the sock and the bottom of the trouser. It’s so crude. And this is that gap, but higher! Whiter! Amplified! Help!

photo via xjy

1. Fur-lined, hooded parkas
2. Fur-lined boots
3. Skirts
4. Fake tan

Somebody please explain this to me.

photo via jeremysabol

You’ve found me out: lamé is kind of my favourite thing to hate on.

But this gentleman couldn’t settle for just one fashion fuck-up. He’s paired his lamé shirt — which probably cost upwards of $40 at a local “vintage” store — with pink pants, a friend with a leopard-print jumpsuit (?), and a case of Mike’s Hard Lemonade. A really close look at the original photo also reveals some sort of inverse Hitler moustache. Yikes.

photo via heyjupiter

I’m so sick of this “ironic croc” thing. It’s one thing to have as much taste as a vegan with a head-cold, but why would you buy shoes, wear them while out with your fashion-inept besties, & tag a photo of the evidence with the words “ugly shoes”?

photo via clem

The hair is saying Billy-Idol-meets-naked-mole-rat, the leather jacket and cuffs are saying “I’m a douchebag!” and the shoes are saying… I don’t know. I don’t know what the shoes are saying at all. I’m getting distracted by that guy in the background who appears to be wearing a COLLAR for an ARMBAND.

photo via shujintribble

Forget the poodle purses. I must have been running a fever to toss the word “terrifying” around so casually — that lass is nothing but a poor miller’s daughter in the Hamlet of Terrorville. THIS is its high priestess. More evidence here.

photo via NotLiz

You’re no Karen O, honey. Put those balloons away.

photo via malingering

This photo was taken in Los Angeles, so I’m thinking he got a role playing a sporty tomato in a Nike segment but got so into character that he practiced dribbling ten hours a day, which gave him carpal tunnel syndrome. Which is why he’s doing weird wrist stretches with his left hand. See, everything DOES make sense. Except whatever is going on with his shirt-tucking.