Go Back And Change!

photo via rwillia532

I was going to talk all sorts of shit about this outfit. I was going to talk shit all the way from the Renn-Faire-On-Ice blouse to the leopard print headband to the sexy-secretary-of-a-street-walker glasses to the fact that though I totally get that corsets are supposed to cinch your waist, waist-cinching makes you look SERIOUSLY TERRIFYING (& her posture kind of reminds me of Bluto from Popeye). After I was done talking shit, I was going to make a joke about the fact that she probably had a quote from Beowulf on her arm. Ha-ha.

Then I enlarged the image. Her tattoo reads, “Und wenn sie nicht gestorben sind, dann leben sie noch heute.” This is how German fairy tales end. I took German in college. A small breeze of sympathy blew through the black, rattling windows of my heart. Ugh. Well played, corset girl.

photo via malingering

Honey, I don’t know what to wear for my speed-walk today. I’m thinking Anne of Green Gables meets British High Tea at Flannery O’Connor’s house, but I still want to keep it casual. Oh, I know. I’ll wear sneakers with my stockings — taking the outfit back, and then bringing it forward into 2009, you see?

Oh, what am I saying… I actually think this is pretty fabulous. Well played, Madam. But are you carrying a book or a pistol? And what has your lackey got in that bag?